Life presents a dismal picture
Dark and dreary as the womb,
Father's got an anal stricture
Mother's got a fallen womb.
Sister Sue has been aborted
For the forty-second time,
Brother
Bill has been deported
For a homosexual crime.
Nurse has
chronic menstruation,
Never laughs and never smiles,
Mine's a
dismal occupation
Cracking ice for Grandpa's piles.
In a small
brown paper parcel
Wrapped in a mysterious way
Is an imitation
rectum
Granddad uses twice a day.
Joe the postman called this
morning,
Stuck his prick through the door,
We could-not despite
endearment
Get it out till half-past four.
Even now the
baby's started
Having epileptic fits,
Every time it coughs it
spews
Every time it farts it shits.
Yet we are not
broken-hearted,
Neither are we up the spout,
Aunty Mabel has just
farted,
Blown her arse hole inside out.