CHORUS:Yo! Ho! Ho! We haven't got anymore beer.
There's
frigging on the rigging;
Wanking on the planking,
Tossing on the
crossing,
There was fuck all else to do.
Twas on the good
ship Venus,
By God you should have seen us,
The figurehead was a
whore in bed
And the mast the Captain's penis.
The captain of
this lugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shove shit
From one place to another.
The captain's wife was Mabel.
Whenever she was able,
She'd fornicate the second mate
Upon the
galley table.
The ship's cook's name was Freeman,
My God was
he a demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in
semen.
The captain had a daughter,
Who fell into the water,
We heard her squeal and knew an eel
Had found her sexual quarter.
The first mate's name was Carter,
By God he was a farter,
When the high winds would cease
They's use Carter to start her.
The second mate's name was Andy,
His balls were long and bandy,
We filled his arse with molten brass
For wanking in the brandy.
The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
We stuffed
his arse with broken glass
To circumcise the skipper.
The
captain's name was Morgan,
By Christ he was a gorgon!
Ten times a
day sweet tunes he's play.
On his productive organ.
The captain's
daughter Mable,
They laid her on a table!
And all the crew would
come and screw
As oft as they were able.
"Twas on a Chinese
station,
We caused a great sensation.
We sunk a junk in a sea of
spunk
By mutual masturbation.
The third mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball.
But with cracker he rolled terbaccer
Around
the cabin wall.
The captain's daughter Mary,
Had never lost
her cherry.
The men grew bold and offered gold
And now there's no
more Virgin Mary.
Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly
dally.
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
He whitewashed half the
galley.
The boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen
tester.
Thru hymens thick he stuck his prick
And left it there to
fester.
Another one was Cropper,
Oh Christ he had a whopper.
Twice round the deck, around his neck
And up his bum for a stopper.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew had him over,
We ground that faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover.
The
engineer was McTavish
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing
dick's at Istanbul
He was a trifle lavish.
A homo was the
Purser,
He couldn't have been worser,
With all the crew he had a
screw,
Until they yelled: "Oh no sir."
So now we end this
serial,
Through sheer lack of material.
I wish you luck and
freedom from
Diseases venereal.